Twisting, Cracking, Breaking
by Suzette's Blue
Summary: SPOILERS! Canon. Set in Acid Tokyo during the Syaoran fight. C!Syaoran's PoV. Oneshot. Written by "Nee Chan" Suzette's big sister.


**Disclaimer:** I am not Syaoran, Clone or otherwise. Nor do I own him. Actually I don't own any of the Tsubasa Gang *bursts in to anime style tears*. I don't own this account either (it's my little sister's … I don't have one of my own coz I'm lazy and technology retarded)

A/N okay told during the Syaoran fight in Acid Tokyo, so if you haven't read it yet it would likely make more sense if you read this _after_ reading it. Though, feel free to prove me wrong, if you don't mind spoilers. I'm serious when I say that it works better in conjunction with the actual fight scene though coz there's no way I can do it justice … I'm just not that good … as Suzette would be happy to testify. Mostly thoughts so please excuse the short sentences and bad grammar. Told from Clone Syaoran's PoV.

_Thoughts of the mind._

**Thoughts of the body.**

**Twisting, Cracking, Breaking.**

Something's twisting.

I'm losing air quickly.

Kamui isn't helping.

I'm bleeding from the arm, shoulder, and chest.

But I can't let Sakura get hurt.

_I have to protect her._

**Get her feathers back.**

**No matter what.**

Something's cracking.

My right eye is throbbing.

I can't control it anymore.

All I know is Sakura must get her feathers back.

I see Fai-san.

I see him and realize I'm hurting Kamui.

_Was I going to tear his arm off?_

I am horrified at the thought but at the same time, feel a wild urge to do just that.

But Kamui fights back.

His arm isn't broken anymore.

_Good._

But he ruined my shirt.

I'm angry.

More angry than I have any right to be.

_Am I really getting so worked up over a shirt?_

_No._

Something's breaking.

Inside of me.

Almost like my heart is being broken in two.

My eye feels like the core of it is slowly being dragged out.

But I'll endure it.

_For Sakura._

What's happening?

I can hear Kamui talking to Fai-san, though I can't hear Fai-san's answers.

My 'soul' came from someone else?

I look up, hoping for answers.

Instead something rips itself from my right eye, causing a whirlpool.

I can feel Fai-san's magic all around me.

Powerful and strong, trying to put that strange symbol back on my eye.

He is doomed to failure.

It turns into a Yin/Yang sign and I take hold of it.

But I am no longer in control.

My will isn't strong enough and now my body has gone into auto-pilot.

It drops the Yin/Yang symbol and I realize that it's the other half of my heart. My 'soul'.

Fai-san picks it up as I walk toward him and I know what will happen.

**I need his magic.**

Fai-san can sense feathers and travel dimensions.

**His blue eyes are the source of this power.**

I don't know how I know this, I just do.

**I need his magic to get the feathers.**

So I eat his left eye.

The whirlpool clears and I see Kurogane-san.

I feel something tingling in my right eye and Kurogane-san says it's turned blue.

I feel powerful and strong.

Strong enough to get all Sakura's feathers on my own.

But my body wants more.

My body wants his right eye too.

_But Fai-san will die!!_

_SOMEONE STOP HIM!!!_

Kurogane-san jumps down and grabs my arm asking if I ate Fai-san's eye.

**Of course I did, and I'll eat the other too … unless you stop me.**

Kurogane-san wants Fai-san.

I want Fai-san's eye.

_NO!_

I don't know anymore.

_What's me and what's my body?_

**I won't be stopped. I can't gouge out his right eye like I did the left, so I'll just go through the eyelid and get it that way.**

_But Fai-san will die!_

My body slows down.

It starts gnawing on Fai-san's eyelid but in slow motion.

_Was that me?_

Kurogane-san grabs me and throws me across the room, breaking my arm.

_Good._

_I don't want to hurt them so I can't be near them._

I can hear them talking as I stand up.

"It seems he does not feel pain."

"… nor any pain in his heart."

No. I feel pain. A sharp, burning pain in my heart.

But it seems my body and heart, are no longer connected.

Kurogane-san says, "you aren't the kid, are you."

It's not a question.

"I get a different feeling from you."

_I get a different feeling from me too._

"But …"

My body has a mind of its own. A mind that repeats the same thing, over and over again …

"You aren't a different person."

Almost like a mantra.

"**I will get the feathers back! No matter what!**"

I use my new, ill-gotten magic to attack from across the basement.

_Clearly I'll need to get further away if I'm going to protect them all from myself._

"I will obtain what I need to get the feathers back, and I will remove anyone in my way."

I've made him angry now.

"This guy, changed who he is because of the Princess … AND BECAUSE OF YOU! You even managed to make him smile for real a little! **DON'T YOU HEAR ME KID?!!**"

Yes Kurogane-san, I hear you. And, while I know my face is blank, my heart is remorseful, however I have no control. My body has been pre-programmed.

Then another me appears in front of me.

He feels so familiar that I _know_ he must be the owner of the half heart that my body rejected.

"EVERYBODY!"

"SAKURA!!"

I feel my spirits lift at the sound of her voice, her name and I turn my head to look at her … and see her shock at my now-blue eye. It makes me sad.

I turn back to the other me and he has the half heart in his hand.

"Half of my heart …"

I was right.

"Long ago, I gave it to you."

He sounds … regretful.

"The seal on it began to break and that magician tried to return it to you but in doing so, he lost his left eye."

So Fai-san knew. But because he used magic on it, my body tried to kill him by taking his magic for itself.

"Unfortunately, a seal that is broken can never be resealed no matter what method you try."

He reclaimed his heart and started reaching for the patch over his left eye.

""The Magician must have known that, but still he made his bet that the possibility exists."

I can hear Sakura yelling and banging her fists, but my body remains unmoved and merely stares at the other me.

He says he's been watching through my right eye.

The one that I couldn't see out of til now.

That he saw the same things I did, the same people.

"The one for whom Sakura was the most precious wasn't 'my heart' … IT WAS YOU WASN'T IT?!!"

_Yes. That's true. But it was your heart that kept these wild urges in check. That stopped my body from destroying everything and everyone around me to get the feathers._

It's true and my body doesn't like it.

So we fight.

My body and my other self.

Then Kurogane-san asks Mokana for his sword and my body uses Fai-san's magic to get Hien instead … and uses it to half destroy the basement.

I can hear Sakura screaming my name.

_I don't want her to worry about me._

"When I gave you half of my heart, I looked through the 'mirror' and said to you …"

_So he's still alive. That's good to know._

" 'Before the seal on your right eye breaks and the heart that you possess is wrenched from you I am betting that you will give birth within yourself _**to a heart of your own!**_ I believe that those days you spent and the people spent them with will allow you to grow your own heart.' "

He right. I DO have a heart, but it's still growing and developing. It isn't strong enough to suppress the violent urges I, no, my BODY, feels.

" 'BUT, if it so happens that the seal breaks too soon, and you haven't had the time to grow a heart and you rampage the way you were compelled to …' "

So I was designed to wreck havoc.

" '… _**then I will remove you myself!!**_' "

He draws a sword from the palm of his hand and powerful magic slams into me.

Then he flies across the room toward me, sword out-stretched.

_So this is the end. At least I won't hurt anyone else. Fai-san may even get his eye back …_

"_**STOP IT!!!**_"

_He stopped? No …_

"PLEASE DON'T KILL SYAORAN-KUN!!"

… _either don't come near me or kill me! I'll only hurt more people otherwise, or even kill them!!_

And Hien was thrust through his leg.

The other me collapses as I walk to the bubble that was Sakura's prison and slice it open.

The mantra's back.

**I will get the feathers back.**

I can't suppress it but maybe I can control it, redirect it. At least long enough to get away from my friends.

I slice open the core of the bubble and got the feather.

_Sakura's feather._

I pull her toward me to return her feather.

"No … wait …"

She's crying.

"Syaoran-kun …"

_I'm sorry. But …_

"_**I will return the feathers to you! No matter what!**_"

_I can't stop myself, so instead I'll half control it._

It's the best I can do.

One of those slit portals opens beside me, so I turn to leave, dropping Sakura in the process.

I walk towards the portal but am stopped when she grabs my arm.

"Syaoran … kun …"

She's crying even more.

"Please … don't go …"

_I can't stay, and I can't take you with me._

So I shake her off and leave

"Syaora…."

I'm sorry Sakura.

My tears fall as the portal closes behind.

I don't want to hurt my friends anymore.

_I can't control it._

**And we'll get more feathers, faster if we split up.**

**A/N** please review and tell me what I did well and what I didn't do well and what confused you and blah blah blah. Suzette doesn't mind getting reviews for a story she didn't write so you don't need to worry about that. Thank you for reading *bows*.


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